It's been a year 2 months

It's been a year 2 months since I met him. It should be a beautiful day but soon we're going together. It becomes a nightmare for him. I just can't be a nice a girl but a cursed for him. I always get him mad to me because of my ego. I just can't stand it anymore, I have so much load problem this year. I try so hard to get it through, but I am to weak. I just wanna say sorry to him, I love him so much more than he knows. But I can't stand it anymore because I hurt him so much. This black tears will never able to help me escape from this nightmare. I used to say sorry and do it again and again. I am to selfish for him. I know that I am wrong, but my ego controlled me to much. Honestly, I need him for my life. I can't live without him. But, if I just make him hurts because of me. I better to leave. If I can turn back a time, I wouldn't be him, cause I'd hurt him so much. But, I'd die if I don't have him in my life.

I know what I have done.
I know I am pretty as a rainbow
But this rainbow just make your lips down

I know I am the only girl you wait
But, I can make your heart down in 1 minute.
I know I am the girl you proud of
But this proud just make you sad
Cause I can't make you proud
I just can let you down

I know I am the exactly you love
The love will disappear as the time goes on
Cause I am your cursed

I know my mistake
But I never to able to erase my mistake
Because I feel I'll hurt you again
These black tears won't erase your nightmare because of me
Cause my good things isn't enough for you.
I don't think that I am a good girl

If I could wish to run and forget you
I'll do that.
I can't stand to see you cry cause of me
I can't stand to see you hard to breath
when I am to selfish enough

I know what I have done.
Wish to have a power
To help you
Getting out of me.

Can I tell you something?
I can't do that all of these things
Because you are the only one for me
But, it's okay to hurt you more
Cause I think I still not good enough for you. 

Happy one year 2 months. 
I'll send a pray
to make you better
to see I care to you
even I am a nightmare for you.

If I can be a stronger
I'll to leave you as long as you happy.
But, I am sorry I can't make it.
Cause I always need you and love you entire my life. 

Can we start again?

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